We had Raising Cane’s last night for dinner and I made sure to enjoy every savoring salty bite of it. One of our goals for the new year was to minimize the amount we eat out and I’ll grade us at a B- with how well we were holding up with it. The reason why we took the greasy plunge for what we thought would be our last meal was because of my inability to just say no.
As most of you already know, I’m easily influenced. Example, the Dallas Rock ‘N’ Roll marathon – totally talked into that by a co-worker who mentioned it to me just once. That’s all it took and I was on board. This time it was my own team lead who signed me up for my demise (and my loving husband decided to come along for the ride). She is a quiet soul, but has a dynamic way with words which is exactly how I ended up here at day 1.
It’s the Dr. Oz 3 Day Detox Cleanse. The claim is that “All you need is 3 days, a blender and $16 a day!” That’s not true if you are high class folks like the man and myself. We shop at Sprouts and it isn’t cheap.
Yesterday evening, we spent some quality time with our juicer making all of our drinks for day 1. That was our first mistake – whipping out the fancy juicer to take this cleanse on. After placing our respective breakfast, lunch, and dinners into mason jars we indulged ourselves with dinner.
We awoke with a spark of new life and after taking a short run with the man, we came back home to start our cleanse. The morning detox tea was refreshing. I’m a fan of green tea and with the lemon and Stevia it was nice.
The man beckoned me to enjoy my breakfast drink. I managed to swallow down breakfast – the flax seed was bearable. I use bearable loosely. Honestly, I would’ve enjoyed a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and a tall Vanilla Spice Latte from Starbucks. The man sent me out of the house with lunch and I was well on my way. Upon arriving at work, the green sludge was in the office fridge and we (yes, we – as in my team lead & colleague) anxiously started the countdown to lunch. My mind started playing these twisted tricks and I dreaded the idea of our lunch hour coming upon us. Lunch is usually my time to relax, catch up after a long weekend, and just enjoy some good food. My demise had slowly piled on as I had convinced myself at this point that I did not want to drink the lunch drink.
Then the almost unspeakable lunch happened.
We all opted to eat in our office to avoid the foods of those not partaking in the detox. As the smell of the green sludge, crept out of my mason jar I knew I had taken too much up for my liking. The first few slow slurps were bitter and unforgiving. I may
or may not have gagged a few times trying to take it back. Where did it all go wrong (too much celery, cucumber, kale, or a whole lime)? Why was I subjecting myself to this toxic concoction that I couldn’t even stand to look at? The slow slurping turned into nonexistent sipping. My team lead chugged hers like a champ and my colleague resulted into spooning hers into her mouth in a weak attempt to down it (Why we had 3 different consistencies, I’ll never know).
As the entire office laughed and joked over the unstoppable craving I kept nursing over a nice heaping of hot and salty fries, she bolted. My colleague in her ridiculously cute outfit and wedges made a run for it, mouth covered and head down. Another co-worker close behind politely commented, “she’s going to vomit – she may make it – no, she didn’t make it.” Lunch drink #1 was on our office floor and my moment of defeat was upon me. Just an hour earlier, I was gagging at the mere sip of lunch. If my colleague couldn’t hold it down, bad news was right around the corner for yours truly. I COULD FEEL (SMELL & TASTE) IT!
After calling, texting, and albeit nearly sending smoke signals to the man that I wasn’t made for this – he still had confidence in me. That was one of us. The encouragement of attempting to keep it up and it was only 3 days was heard throughout the office for the rest of the day. Give it another shot! It’s just 3 days! Just substitute the lunch drink for an additional breakfast or dinner!
It’s not going to happen. I just finished eating two whole mini packages of fresh blueberries from Starbucks. My order for a Chipotle bowl is placed with the man. He confessed that he has had a salt craving all day and wanted popcorn so badly. We’ve had an additional plan for after this cleanse, that we would stick with.
The realization is that day 1 of my experience with the Dr. Oz 3 day detox cleanse would be my first and last. Without even making it to dinner.
I’ll stick to running a half marathon.
**Sidenote: The man finished his lunch drink. I’m the one who pulled out of the race. How could I have him suffer watching me eat salty morsels of goodness?!?! Oh and my dear team lead texted me the following message….not gonna happen!