As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned quite a bit on knowing and understanding my own worth. Each and every moment on this path of life, I’ve come across obstacles that seems unconquerable. There have been times when I’ve questioned how I was suppose to continue moving forward. Those questions became worries that I harbored deep and hid deep down behind false smiles, without giving off any inclination that I was in agony.
Throughout each weathered storm, I’ve realized one consistent component to my life. Probably in the last few years the most important component as it has become a pillar to helping me survive the times when I find myself unlovable or questioning my self-worth. This pillar is the variety of friendships I’ve been lucky to foster from near and far.
Without getting too in-depth, it started in May of 2014 when my father passed away. My life took a turn for the worst as I ignored all the self-care I should’ve paid close attention to. Instead, I went into survival mode for everyone else. The burden I forced myself to carry was incredibly too much, but along the way I faced a unique realization. Even with the burden I was carrying, I would soon find out who the gems were in my life.
Over the last few years, people have come and gone within my life. Relationships have fostered into people that I want to experience every special milestone as I grow older. There are people who I don’t know how I’ve gone this long without them in my life. The individuals who I text every day about the most mundane workings of the world. Or the ones who as soon as we are in the same room together, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, we pick right back up like we haven’t been apart for long.
It’s inherently become second nature to remind myself that with my own worth, I deserve to surround myself with the best people. I deserve the very best people who deserve the very best of me.
In 10 days, I’ll be 30. My friends have distinctively evolved. They are special to me in their own individuals ways. Some I speak with every day. With others it’s just an unsaid understanding, that we are stuck with each other. A few have filled the void for a girl who just needed an extended family.
If you’re one of these people (and you know who you are….because you’ve probably gotten an invite to my birthday party) – I thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a light in my life and carrying me through the darkest times.