Simply Mommy Chronicles

To Announce or Not to Announce

To announce or not to announce a pregnancy is a big freaking deal. You really have to prepare yourself for the array of congratulations, opinions, and questions that are going to come with your impending little one. It’s a scary feeling that nobody can ever truly be ready for.

Halfway through this pregnancy and it seems like just yesterday it took convincing from David to make the public announcement that we were expecting this wee lil unicorn. You read that correctly, it took convincing from my socially inept husband to get me on board with announcing to the world that we were expecting a baby. Or in other words, my ovulation cycle was severely out of whack and we screwed up.

Let’s break down how we got to this point and how people love it when you’re pregnant (i.e. not sleeping at night and watching your former shrinking midsection revert to a balloon).

Do we have to announce?

After sharing the news with our close family and friends, I was content. The people that I wanted to know about this pregnancy and mattered the most were informed. No need to even break the news to others, right? Wrong. You see, I quickly didn’t take into consideration how public my life can be and how close we are to our hometown we both grew up in. Someone was bound to see me and people don’t know how to keep their mouth shut.

The kicker to announcing was David couldn’t contain himself. If you can remember from I’m Pregnant?, one of us was giddy and all about the wee lil unicorn. The other was apprehensive about this whole “we’re having a baby” gig.

Under pressure to announce…

The entire time I fought David back on it, I could feel the pressure I was getting. Not in a bad way, but in a I’m taking a part of this experience away from him. Later down the line, I had to realize that he wouldn’t get to experience the flutters of our little one. It didn’t help that he was bursting at the seams with excitement about the whole experience and sharing with everyone.

He was so patient with me as I held my firm stance on not telling anyone else. Never did he complain about my stubbornness or push me into giving in. It took a simple heartfelt conversation of brutal honesty for my sweet husband to show me how much announcing our news meant to him.

With a few quick photos thanks to my amazing best friend Stephanie, David and I were ready for the big announcement.

The Big Day

We decided on our 9th wedding anniversary to share the big news. We had many reasons for selecting the date and it worked out best. I would be exactly 12 weeks pregnant and feeling a little more reassured against our odds of miscarrying. This would also give me plenty of time to prep people over my pillowy midsection. Plus, David could not wait a minute longer to announce! He kept me up until midnight and we made our news Facebook official.

Relief?

As much as I want to say that it was nice being able to just be open about this pregnancy, the apprehension and dread were still there. A new set of problems arose with unsolicited advice, “friends” congratulating us and wanting to know about our shower, and dreading the actual shower itself.

Instead of relief, I faced a fear of even speaking out about how I was feeling at any given time. The constant reminders to get as much sleep now (which is crap because I can’t get comfortable), the questioning on whether she has a name (she does – close family and friends know it), and did I mention the unsolicited advice were apparently on endless supply from everyone. Which leads me here, now. Now, I’m being brutally honest about this pregnancy and the fact that new moms don’t get the respect they deserve when it comes to just figuring things out. This probably goes for second and third time moms as well.

Pregnancy is suppose to be a blessing and an exciting time. We each are constantly facing some sort of judgement from a number of individuals. Helpful advice is always nice, but only when asked for. Announcing should be a time for celebration and congratulatory praise, be cognizant of the love you share.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Privacy for Our Daughter: Exercising a Parental Right | Simply Sevi

    […] If you’ve been following this story over the weeks you would understand that I didn’t want to announce in the first place. Opening up on the journey has been an experience, but as the time dwindles away […]

    April 6, 2017 at 7:31 am
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