You read that title correct.
I’m open and honest with those that are in my inner circle. They know my deepest darkest secrets, my pet peeves, and how I prefer my drinks – they knew about what I’m about to tell you.
This new kick of just opening up my life to all who are willing to read…has slowly become my new niche.
Since this is my place on the interwebs to be open and honest, I decided to share this side of my life with you all.
About two weeks ago, I found a tender, sore, painful, and swollen lump on my right boob. I panicked. I cried. My thoughts instantly went to the worse. Within a matter of days, I was at my doctor’s office confessing my biggest fears that I have too much life left in me to find out that I have breast cancer.
You see, I’m still not sure if I am ready to share why this fear lingers deep inside. I’ve seen the pain, felt it, and don’t know if I am made to fight that fight.
My doctor (who is well aware of my self-diagnosing issue) calmly reassured me that she thought it was only blocked ducts or a cyst, but to ease my mind she referred me in for a mammogram.
Yesterday was that day. With all the support I have had from my inner circle, you would think a mammogram would be a cake walk.
I started the morning off with two trips to the bathroom vomiting out of sheer nerves. I NEVER DO THAT. This really shook me and made me thankful that I took the entire day off from work to brave this.
WareBear, being the amazing husband I am so fond of, was kind enough to take me to the appointment because of my nerves. My damn nerves got to me as I filled out all the paperwork – I started talking a little louder and cracking ridiculous jokes.
As I sat in the room before the mammogram, a sense of peace settled over me. I was here and going to finally have an answer.
The radiology tech was a doll as I asked all my ridiculous questions.
Does it hurt? How long will it take? Have you ever had anybody scream in sheer agony? Are these walls sound proof in case I scream? What the biggest set of chi chis you’ve seen?
Ok, that last question was a bit of an over-exaggeration. She was kind enough to share that she had never had any screamers. Great, the pressure was on because I am totally a screamer and vulgar potty mouth at the smallest amounts of pain.
4 painful and screamless boob pancakes later, I assumed I was done. Wrong. They wanted to take an ultrasound of the ladies. No qualms from this chick, I can totes handle a little ultrasound on melons. After the ultrasound, the radiology doctor came in and explained what he saw in both the mammogram and u/s pictures.
The fun-bags (WareBear’s addition to this post) are ok – just dense. At that moment, my heart leaped for joy. All the paranoia seeped from my pores and I channeled my inner bestie in celebration.
That didn’t stop me from going home and doing what I do best. Being the self diagnoses individual I am, I googled dense boobs. Even though the doctor was kind enough to explain what my dense boobs meant, I wanted to reassure myself.
You there, don’t judge me. WareBear is judging enough because I actually took the time to google dense boobs.
Courtesy of BreastCancer.org:
If you have dense breasts, there lifestyle choices you can make to keep your breast cancer risk as low as it can be:
- maintaining a healthy weight – my weight is pretty consistent.
- exercising regularly – slowly getting there.
- limiting alcohol – not going to happen (hey, at least I’m honest!).
- eating nutritious food – goodness, I love burgers, ribs, fried pickles, & milkshakes.
- never smoking – never have and never will!
3 out of 5 isn’t too bad and the radiology doctor said I’m clear for my next mammogram in about 14 years.
Life was put into perspective for me, once again. Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve had a ton of just bricks thrown my way and I’ve been dodging them left and right. This one came a little too close for my liking.
This is another reason to add to my list of why I’m walking the Susan G. Koman 3 Day in Dallas. One day I’ll finally be able to pen that tale – it’s just not today.
“A lifetime isn’t forever, so take the first chance, don’t wait for the second one! Because sometimes, there aren’t second chances! And if it turns out to be a mistake? So what! This is life! A whole bunch of mistakes! But if you never get a second chance at something you didn’t take a first chance at? That’s true failure.” – C. JoyBell C.
This was another reason for me to remember to live life and never take any moment for granted.
*Oh and yes, I wanted to use as many ridiculous references to my chesticles as possible to get a laugh out of everyone who reads this.