Before you continue, I have to warn you that if you are just joining this blog you may want to start here. I decided to start a letter series to my dad and write to him each year on his birthday. Not sure why, but it just sort of happened and I’m leaving it all out on the table. My goal has always been to remain authentic in this lifestyle blogging atmosphere and this is a part of it. This is my story, its a huge part of my life.
It’s been too long and I can’t believe I’m sitting in bed on the eve of what would’ve been your 68th birthday knowing that I won’t be able to hear your voice tomorrow. A lot of emotions are happening right now and I can’t seem to put my finger on them. I can feel my chest tightening up as I write these words and the shock of you actually not being on this earth any longer sinks in.
You always told me to use my voice and you would be proud to know that my blog has become a fun hobby with awesome perks. Remember how I always joked that one day I would be famous?!? Well, I’m not there yet – but I’m not going to let you live that joke down. I’ll be famous and you’ll be the first person that I thank for raising me to be such an extraordinary individual. Speaking of famous, I’m becoming quite the talk around my new job. All of those late nights tinkering around the internet has paid off. The new job at the beat was definitely one of the best moves I’ve ever made. Every day brings a new challenge, but the courage your instilled in me is proving stronger than ever. Thanks for encouraging me to take a leap of faith to apply for this career move. It’s opening so many new doors.
Things haven’t been easy since you passed. Grief really took a toll on me and I had to draw some lines in the sand. I apologize if some of those hurt, but you always understand that no matter what I did it was best for me. Over the last year, I’ve been able to make new friends and realize that a few just aren’t worth the effort. I know you would tell me that it’s ok, it’s a part of life. Over the next few months, I plan on making even more changes in my social dynamics and I sure do wish you were here so that I could bounce some feelings off you. You were always the best at dishing out wisdom when I needed it the most.
No need to worry though, because I’m fine. Honestly, I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in my life. My life is surrounded by people that I love and love me in return. I know you are proud of everything that I’ve accomplished and continue to strive for.
Until we meet again –