Navigating Grief

10300875_10201066031332804_3535026763066800356_nJust let me have this moment to be completely honest. I don’t expect anything from anyone and I hate to be a bother.

Today has been a trying day.

It started last night with just one little trigger that remind me of my dad. I brushed it off, but it continued to linger in the back of my mind. Deep down, I couldn’t shake that feeling of sadness. It continued as I went to bed, that heavy pressure on my chest as I search for the words and longed for the tears to come streaming down my face.

Nothing. Just the overwhelming need for sleep. Before long, I woke up to the clock flashing 10:00AM. For once, my body didn’t wake me up at 7:15AM. There were no feelings of being refreshed or rejuvenated, because the constant linger of the pressure I went to sleep with was still there.

Heavy and haunting. It’s consumed the better part of my day and I am still waiting for those tears. I do have plans for this evening, so I finally forced myself to take a shower, put some real clothes on, and pack a little.

Our house isn’t packed. I have no motivation. Just this lingering pain of the reality that I can’t drive over to my parents house and give my dad a hug. I won’t ever have that loving embrace and those simple words of “I’m so proud of you,” whispered to me from my favorite guy.

Time, it’ll take time. Navigating grief takes time.

“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” -Khalil Gibran

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1 Comment

  • Reply Amanda

    I’ve been there. I AM there… because navigating the loss of a parent as special as your Dad was DOES take time… a LIFEtime. I say that not to scare you, but, to hopefully give you comfort in knowing that it’s OKAY to have bad moments, days, weeks… just let his good LIFE help you out of those funks. It’s okay to cry when you think of him. It’s okay to laugh when you think of him. That means he’s a person worth missing and a person who brought you happiness. Live for the BOTH of you now. 🙂

    June 21, 2014 at 4:12 pm
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