Simply Mommy Chronicles

Privacy for Our Daughter: Exercising a Parental Right

I wasn’t planning on writing this post. Believe me, I had no intention to even think about writing this post. While transparency has been huge with my Simply Mommy Chronicles, I’ve done a lot to exercise my right to privacy on this journey. Everything that I share is on my own terms. With nearly 8000 followers combined across my social media followings, this has been an experience that has taken me some time to really open up.

I didn’t share my first real bump photo until 20 weeks. Since then, I have really begun to blossom into this pregnancy and sharing only what I am comfortable with. With 9 weeks left, it’s becoming more and more of a reality that she’ll be here. Not only will she be here, the demand to see her has become increasingly real.

Why is privacy important, to begin with?

With technology at the tip of our hands, we are constantly connected in some form. There is no escaping the consistent updates of friends, family, or celebrities as you go throughout your day to day. Frequently we are invited into the lives of others in more personal ways than we ever could’ve imagined 10 years, heck even 5 years ago. The instant gratification of hearing news before it actually becomes “breaking news” is a reality. Even when we don’t want it to be.

The definition of privacy is:

the state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people

the state of being free from public attention (source)

Why do these definitions matter? Every message we post can be seen in cryptic manners that have people instantly start to question our intentions. We’ve lost the sense of protecting our own privacy with our constant need to overshare. Privacy is important in those situations when you just need a reprieve from those prying eyes. When you just don’t want to hear the public opinion because you need to work through your own emotions.

Why I’m sticking to the privacy of our daughter?

As I stated earlier, I’ve been insanely private on social media about details of our wee lil unicorn. If you’ve been following this story over the weeks you would understand that I didn’t want to announce in the first place. Opening up on the journey has been an experience, but as the time dwindles away I can’t help my feelings. The intense need to protect and cherish her has come back. Everything else in my life is so open for public consumption, it really draws me to keep her protected from it.

I want to enjoy the simple moments of becoming a mom and bonding with her outside of the public eye. Simply put, once she arrives David and I have made the decision not to instantly share any photos of her online. We are reserving the right to allow our closest friends and family who have been a part of our journey to celebrate her. It’s nothing against others, but this is a special and unique experience for us. Each passing day we are dealing with the emotions that as she gets older, we won’t be able to protect her all the time.

These feelings have come out in both my public and private social media forums. I have dealt with various emotions from quite a few people. The passive aggressive comments don’t even bother me anymore. Nobody dictates what I share with the world, even if they want to huff and get mad at the situation. If David and I decide to wait a month before posting any photos of our little girl that’s our decision.

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  • Reply Lisa Jessup

    As someone who’s sick to death of people who overshare on social media, I applaud your decision, and wish more people would follow suit. “Oh, you’re going grocery shopping? Please, SOMEONE alert the media!” Or, “Cute baby, but he/she really hasn’t changed much from the 8,000 pics you posted four hours ago!” Good for you, Sevi!

    April 6, 2017 at 9:13 am
    • Reply Sevi Ware

      Lisa. LISA! There is a blogger who literally posted a PAID sponsorship from her hospital bed with her new baby. I’m sure her placenta was still inside of her because this post happened so soon. I honestly do not know why it’s become this instant need to share EVERY LITTLE DETAIL.

      I know that sometimes I can get carried away on social media, but for this kid I just want to enjoy every little moment with her. When I do finally share, it’ll be a picture here and there. Not a play by play of her literally looking into the camera at the same angle for 45 pictures.

      April 6, 2017 at 9:37 am
  • Reply Kyrra

    I absolutely hear you! While I don’t have nearly as many followers on my Social Media accounts, I still went back and forth on how soon after Sophia was born to post pictures, or even IF I/We would post pictures. I have seen “Welcome to the World Little XXXX” posts with pictures being posted within minutes of the little one’s arrival and since a number of our close family members aren’t on Social Media at all, James and I felt it was important to have time together as a family, as well as send pictures to our closest family, etc. before we posted on Facebook. Sophia was born on a Tuesday and it was FRIDAY NIGHT before I posted ANYTHING about her arrival. I know 3 or 4 days isn’t a long time when you think about it, but in this Social Media instant gratification age, it’s a lifetime! But, I was totally okay with not plastering everything before we’d even moved up to the recovery suite.
    I was exhausted. James was exhausted. We were both pretty overwhelmed and trying to figure out the first days in our new roles as Mommy and Daddy and neither one of us had time for Social Media. We also wanted to make sure we’d given our immediate family a chance to see her first before we shared her with the world.
    This is YOUR precious little one. This is YOUR life. Therefore, it is absolutely YOUR decision (and choice) of when and how much to share. If others don’t like it, then too bad. They can get over it and share whatever they want of their own lives.
    Treasure those first hours, days, weeks, months as a family of three. We’ll all be here when you’re ready. xoxo

    April 6, 2017 at 10:20 am
  • Reply Sue TandySonger

    Ditto Kyrra’s post and good for you to want to savor those early precious moments. While I’m looking forward to seeing pictures of your beautiful little one, I’ll gladly wait till the time is right for you! Best wishes as the DCW’s arrival gets ever closer!!

    April 6, 2017 at 11:46 am
  • Reply Heather N Webb

    I think this is such an amazing choice and fits totally with how you’ve been so far with sharing pregnancy related things. I will fess up that I massively overshared on social media when the girls were born (partly because all our family lived in another state) but if I was doing it now, I’d definitely take some time to just enjoy the time with my beebs before sharing it them with the world.

    April 7, 2017 at 4:22 pm
  • Reply Nicole

    Good for you! I know people get so excited to share their little ones but I think {at least right now in this moment} that when I have that special milestone of bringing life into this world, that I’ll want to be present with my baby and family. Enjoy that time — we’ll still be here when you are ready to share your little bundle of joy!

    April 7, 2017 at 9:34 pm
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  • Reply Jenn

    It seems like a lot of people are speaking out on this topic, and I’m glad the conversation is starting! I am with you. I don’t share photos of my kids online, and try not to share a lot of information about them. It’s hard because of course I want to share them, and because it’s popular. And if I’m really real, also because I think more people will want to read my blog if I have my cute kids posted. But their privacy, their security, and their futures are just too precious for me to risk it. I love seeing pics of other people’s cute kids, but it’s a personal decision that I’m going to stick to.

    June 8, 2017 at 1:54 am
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