Redefining a Family

Over the last few months, my family dynamic has changed drastically.

When you lose the one person that truly defines your family as a whole, you have to reevaluate not only yourself but your role within your family dynamic. I know it sounds crazy, but my dad was a huge component to all things David (my maiden name, not my husband – I’ll share that twisted story one day). He was the peace keeper, the photographer, the artistic genius, the spiritual leader, and so much more.

Simply put, he grounded us.

My mom celebrated her first birthday without the love of her life, my dad, around. We all knew this would be the most difficult birthday yet. The one that would bring the most tears, as it marked 5 months since he left us. Even sick, I managed to run around and pull together a quick birthday celebration because I knew that my brother would be coming into town.

I embodied the celebrator spirit – a role my dad took extremely seriously – to assure that my mom would have the most amazing birthday.


For once, there were smiles and laughter. We ate pizza, drank beer, gorged on cake, and made fun of each other. We snapchatted silly pictures to the lady friend that my brother has. We enjoyed each other company.

We adore each other!

We adore each other!

Then the grief hit us. This was another celebration of our lives that the one person who we wanted to be there would never physically be able to enjoy with us. Another stolen moment of us being happy and jovial. That dark cloud of realization that just 5 months ago, we had to say goodbye to a husband, father, grandfather, uncle, and brother.

It gets easier, it has to.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ―Khalil Gibran

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  • Reply Keva McNeal-David

    It was a wonderful celebration of my birthday. But I really don’t know if it will ever get easier for me. He was my Rock and the Blue that held us all together. Love him and miss him so much.

    October 13, 2014 at 1:43 pm
  • Reply Lindsay

    Your mom is lucky to have a daughter like you. I am still so sorry for y’all’s loss, I can’t even begin to imagine how this birthday must have felt for her. But what a wonderful way to honor his memory while celebrating with the people you love. I’m sure he was there in spirit, as he will be at every future birthday. Love you sweet friend.

    October 13, 2014 at 3:10 pm
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